Tag Archives: new years

Resolutions are for Chumps

My 2014 New Year’s Resolution is to lose 40 kilos. One week in, and I only have 45 kilos to go.

Jokes aside, there is a reason so many people make New Year’s Resolutions.

It is also the reason so many people fail.

It is because more often than not, they are a wishlist, not a resolution.

If you set yourself the lofty, but generic goal of “getting fitter”, “eating better” or “drinking less”, you are destined for failure. What you are really saying is, you “wish you were fitter”, “you wish you ate better” and “you wish you drank less”.

Look, don’t get me wrong, if you do achieve your New Year’s Resolution, big double thumbs up for you.

But if you were truly serious about improving your life, what relevance did the 1st January have?

Uncle Gaz will tell you. None, nada, niente.

On the whole, resolutions are for the weak, the unmotivated, the procrastinators, the attention seekers, and the cry-for-helpers.

I say, if you’re going to make a resolution, make it something fun.

For instance:

• I resolve not to spend too much time wearing pants
• I resolve to write “for a good time, phone Gaz” on toilet cubicle walls.
• I resolve to live up to it, if the call comes in
• I resolve to make a compendium of my favourite takeout menus so I have choices at my fingertips whenever I get the munchies
• I resolve to slap anyone who says “lol” instead of actually laughing out loud

*Raises slapping hand in warning*

But the lifestyle wishlist things? You should be doing them anyway. Don’t wait until the 1st January. Take control of your life. Challenge yourself.

If you want to change your lot in life, every day counts.

If you’re stuck in a dead-end job, enrol in an online course to get a qualification in the industry you love.

If you want to write a novel, sit down and start typing.

If you want to trek the Inca Trail, organise for 10 percent of your salary to be direct debited into a separate travel fund account. Pretty soon you’ll have enough for a round-the-world ticket.

But stop wishing. Do it now.

We pass this way only once. Make the most of it.

Mae West once famously said, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

So get out there folks, live your dreams. I know I am. Maybe we’ll bump into each other along the way. All things being good, I’ll be the one wearing no pants.