Favourite Simpsons Quotes


In my last blog, I promised that I would compile my top 10 favourite Simpsons quotes – to give Mr Nolan Dalla a taste of what he missed, since he claims to have never seen The Simpsons. So sad.


I have been on vacation in Hawaii, so have had a lot of time to think back to the most memorable Simpsons quotes, but still found it extremely difficult to pick ten. Could have picked 100 more that are equally as good I think, but here goes, in no particular order;


  1. Homer Simpson: Operator! Give me the number for 911! [shouts into telephone]
  2. Homer Simpson:  Books are useless!  I only ever read one book, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds!  Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the colour of his skin… but what good does that do me?
  3. Homer Simpson:  Just once I’d like someone to call me ‘Sir’ without adding ‘You’re making a scene.’
  4. Nelson Muntz: Shoplifting is a victimless crime.  Like punching someone in the dark.
  5. Homer Simpson: I’m sorry I lied to you, Marge.  But this gun had a hold on me.  I felt this incredible surge of power, like God must feel, when he’s holding a gun.
  6. Homer Simpson:  When I first heard that Marge was joining the Police Academy, I thought it would be fun and zany.  Like that movie — Spaceballs.  But instead, it was dark and disturbing.  Like that movie — Police Academy.
  7. Grandpa and Lisa Simpson:                   [singing] “How many roads, must a man walk down…”

    Homer Simpson:                                      Eight!

    Lisa:                                                             That was a rhetorical question.

    Homer:                                                       Oh.  Then seven!

    Lisa:                                                             Do you even know what ‘rhetorical’ means?

    Homer:                                                       [scoffs]  Do I know what ‘rhetorical’ means…

  8. Homer Simpson:                                  Look everyone, now that I’m a teacher I’ve sewn patches on my elbows!

    Marge Simpson:                                   Homer that’s supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, not the other way around. You’ve ruined a perfectly good jacket.

    Homer Simpson:                                  Ah, incorrect Marge. 

    [holds up a tweed jacket with two large holes in the back]

     Two perfectly good jackets.

  9. Homer Simpson:                                  A gun is not a weapon, Marge.  It’s a tool.  Like a butcher’s knife, or a harpoon, or… uh, a… an alligator.  You just need more education on the subject.  Tell you what.  You come with me to an NRA meeting, and if you still don’t think guns are great, we can argue some more.
  10. Homer Simpson:                                  Every time I learn something new, something old gets pushed out of my brain.  Remember the time I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive?

2 thoughts on “Favourite Simpsons Quotes

  1. Nolan Dalla

    I have no idea what Gareth is writing about and found this entire exercise to be a monumental waste of time. I wish Gareth would return to subjects he knows something about like…….





  2. Andrew

    Which episode of the Simpsons is this from? See No 7 “How many roads, must a man walk down…”



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